One of the common Money Archetypes that I see in women is the Martyr. Which makes sense because we are typically the nurtures and caretakers in the family. The downside is Martyrs are so busy taking care of others’ needs that they often neglect their own. Financially speaking, Martyrs generally do more for others than they do for themselves. Being a Martyr leads to unhealthy relationships and boundaries.
If you want to have healthy relationships in life, boundaries are crucial. However, setting and sticking to boundaries is a skill that can be difficult for some people to master.
When you set healthy boundaries, it means you understand and know what your limits are. It helps you to improve relationships, become happier and better fulfill your needs. The question is, how can you build better boundaries if it isn’t a skill that comes easy to you? Below, you’ll discover some great tips you can follow.
- Identify your limits
It will be difficult to set boundaries if you don’t know what they are. Each of us has different limits we are willing to accept. So, start by writing down your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional limits.
Think about what makes you feel stressed and uncomfortable. What are you willing to tolerate and what things are not OK with you? Once you have a list of your limits, you’ll have a better idea of the type of boundaries you need to set.
- Say no without giving a reason
A great tip for setting better boundaries is to start saying no without providing a reason. Have you noticed that when you want to say no to something, you feel like you need to give an excuse? Often, this leads us to make up an excuse, leaving us feeling guilty afterwards for lying.
Learning to say no without giving a reason is much healthier. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for not wanting to do or accept something. This may be a tough tip to follow, but you’ll be surprised how free you feel when you start saying no without explanation.
- Give yourself permission
The main things that set us back from creating boundaries are self-doubt, fear, and guilt. It could be that you are worried about the other person’s response. Or maybe you feel like you should be able to cope with doing certain things, so don’t feel comfortable saying no.
Give yourself permission to set boundaries. Realize that setting boundaries is healthy. Not only do boundaries contribute towards better relationships with others, but they also build up your self-worth too.
- Step back from toxic relationships
Many of us have a toxic relationship of some kind. Whether it’s an unhealthy relationship with our friends or family, stepping back is one of the best ways to build up boundaries. If a relationship is no longer serving you, taking a step back is one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself. It is never selfish or cruel to put yourself first in a toxic relationship. If anything, it is necessary for your happiness and wellbeing.
These are some of the best ways to build better boundaries. Once you have firm boundaries in place, your life will be much happier. You will start to feel more empowered and in control of your life. It isn’t just your right to make choices that best serve you, it is also a necessity.
If you would like to learn more about your relationship with money and how not setting healthy boundaries may be holding you back from achieving the financial freedom you desire, take the Money Type Quiz here. It only takes 5 minutes and can change your life.